Tygerberg Hospice held its annual Tree of Lights event on Thursday 4 December on the premises of Jan Kriel School in Kuils River.
Tree of Lights is a remembrance and fundraising event where families gather to remember and honour loved ones who have passed. Anyone can honour people who have touched their lives through a memorial or light dedication. Funds raised support Tygerberg Hospice’s invaluable work providing holistic palliative care to terminal patients and supporting families.
The evening featured performances by the Nelson Mandela Artillery Pipes and Drums, Fortissimo Musicales, Vezz, and Salome.
Guest speaker actress Khadija Heeger shared a moving reflection on finding God in ordinary spaces. She discovers God “95% of the time outside church” – in shared cups of tea, coffee brought to bed, and the first bloom of a cactus.
“What’s the use of going to church every Sunday if you’re not being ‘church’ every other day?” she asked. God is “closer to us than our jugular” and exists in “the miracle of everyday things”.
Heeger read a powerful poem dedicated to her late mother and all who deserve to be remembered: “I will say your name so loud the earth will split her tiny lips,” vowing to “make you a monument beyond any stone”.
Impossibilities vanish
Bevan Botha from Parow shared his account of caring for Kenny, an 86-year-old man with cancer who considered him “the son he never had”.
When Kenny asked to spend his final days at Botha’s home, Botha felt overwhelmed. “I had absolutely no idea how to handle the situation.”
He contacted Tygerberg Hospice and reached Jackie, who immediately reassured him: “It’s going to be okay.”
The situation was complicated by Kenny’s refusal to take morphine despite severe pain.
When three palliative care sisters arrived, despite being gravely ill, Kenny’s demeanour transformed completely. “He sits up in his bed and goes, ‘Oh hello everybody!’ as if nothing was wrong,” Botha recalled.
Kenny, who had lived alone for 15 years, excitedly asked if the nurses would bathe him.
With the hospice team’s support, Kenny’s decline was successfully managed.
That demonstration of effort was so comforting to both Kenny and me that it changed our entire view of palliative care.
Kenny passed away peacefully with a smile. Botha expressed profound gratitude to the hospice team – “people who lay down their time and selves for a calling greater than themselves.”
Referencing French poet Jean de La Fontaine’s words: “Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish,” he concluded: “Hospice, because of you, impossibilities vanish.”
Caitlin Crowster paid tribute to volunteer Lozetta Belinfante, who dedicated over eight years of loving service to Tygerberg Hospice before her passing in September. “She was never just a volunteer, she became family – her spirit remains within our hospice,” Crowster said.
Comfort through faith
Rev Stephen Nicholson thanked everyone involved with Tygerberg Hospice, ensuring “people never die alone”.
He opened with Psalm 23, reminding attendees that “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”
Drawing parallels to biblical grief, he emphasised that faith provides comfort during loss. “Jesus gets our frustration, our anger, our bitterness at losing someone we love.”
He referenced Alcoholics Anonymous’s concept of a “higher power”, noting that statistics show people with spiritual beliefs handle recovery better than those without. He encouraged attendees to “run to whoever can bring you comfort – not the bottle, tablets, or holiday, but to the God who understands.”
Quoting Kahlil Gibran, he explained that “the deeper sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” He concluded: “Grief is love with nowhere to go. Well, now we do have somewhere to go. That’s God.”
Nicholson’s closing prayer reminded attendees that whilst loved ones may be physically absent, “their light continues to shine, even though at times it feels dark”.
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