As the new school year approaches many children experience a mix of excitement and anxiety about returning to the classroom.
Whether it’s starting a new grade, changing schools or simply adjusting after the holidays, back-to-school anxiety is more common than many parents realise.
TygerBurger received some valuable insights into recognising and addressing this challenge.
“Children often express their anxiety indirectly,” according to iRainbow. “Recognising these subtle signs is the first step in providing appropriate support.”
Educational psychologist Charlene Wessels of The Practice and educational support platform iRainbow offered complementary strategies parents can implement to support their children through this transition.
Expressing anxiety
According to the iRainbow guide published in January 2025 children may not always verbalise their anxiety but instead express it through behavioural and physical signs. Parents should watch out for:
- Physical symptoms such as unexplained stomach aches or headaches.
- Changes in sleep patterns and increased fatigue.
- Irritability over seemingly minor issues.
- Social withdrawal from friends and family activities.
- Academic decline in previously strong learners.
- Excessive worry about school-related situations.
- Avoidance behaviours such as refusing to discuss school.
“Children often express their anxiety indirectly,” according to iRainbow. “Recognising these subtle signs is the first step in providing appropriate support.”
Ten evidence-based strategies
Wessels outlines 10 practical strategies that parents can implement to help their children navigate school anxiety:
1. Normalise their feelings
Reassure children that feeling nervous about school is completely normal. Use empathetic language like “Lots of children feel this way” to reduce shame and create a sense of safety.
2. Rebuild predictability
Start establishing school routines one to two weeks before term begins. This includes setting appropriate bedtimes, wake-up times and creating visual checklists for morning tasks.
3. Use gradual exposure
Instead of avoiding anxiety triggers, gradually expose children to school-related situations in small steps. This may include driving past the school, visiting the playground or walking through the school gates briefly.
4. Validate first, problem-solve second
Children need to feel heard before they can approach problems calmly. Try phrases such as “I can see this feels big for you. Let’s figure out one small thing we can do together.”
5. Teach body-based coping skills
Practise calming techniques that children can use during stressful moments at school, such as balloon breathing, hand-tracing breathing or grounding techniques.
6. Rehearse challenging scenarios
Role-play situations that may cause anxiety, such as getting lost, sitting alone or feeling nervous in class. This helps children feel equipped to handle these situations.
7. Focus on strengths
To build confidence remind children of previous times they had overcome similar worries and succeeded.
8. Create a connection ritual
Develop a simple, predictable goodbye routine to ease separation anxiety, such as a special handshake or a comforting phrase like “You’ve got this. I’ll see you at 2.”
9. Model calm behaviour
Children mirror their parents’ emotional states. Demonstrating calmness and confidence signals that the situation is safe and manageable.
10. Celebrate small wins
Acknowledge incremental progress to strengthen resilience. Praise effort and courage, even in small steps.
Relaxation techniques
The iRainbow guide provides specific relaxation exercises that parents can teach their children:
Deep breathing exercises:
- Five-finger breathing: Trace one hand with the other, inhaling when moving up a finger and exhaling when moving down.
- Lion’s breath: Inhale deeply, then exhale forcefully with a loud “ha” sound while sticking out the tongue.
- Balloon breathing: Imagine inflating a balloon while breathing deeply.
- Guided visualisation
- Encourage children to imagine calming scenes like beaches or peaceful parks.
- Try colour breathing: assign calming colours (like blue) to inhale and stressful colours (like grey) to exhale.
Creative outlets
Art-therapy activities and colouring books can provide therapeutic benefits for children of all ages.
Both experts emphasise that while these strategies are effective for most children, some situations require professional intervention.
Consider seeking help from a school counsellor or mental health professional if you notice:
- Prolonged anxiety affecting multiple areas of life.
- Physical symptoms without clear medical explanation.
- Frequent crying or emotional distress.
- Risky behaviours such as self-harm or complete social isolation.
- Family history of anxiety disorders.
“Progress happens gradually and praising effort strengthens resilience… Remember, your calm, confident approach will help signal to your child that they can handle this transition successfully.”
Consistent support
The key to supporting children through back-to-school anxiety lies in early preparation and consistent support.
Charlene Wessels said: “Progress happens gradually and praising effort strengthens resilience… Remember, your calm, confident approach will help signal to your child that they can handle this transition successfully.”
For additional support, parents can reach out to their school’s guidance counsellor or contact educational support services.
The iRainbow platform offers resources for children in grades 1 through 12, and parents can find more information through their website www.irainbow.co.za.
“Remember, with the right support and strategies children cannot only overcome their back-to-school anxiety, but also develop valuable coping skills that will serve them throughout their educational journey and beyond.
